notyetlegend | → IC CONTACT FOR eachdraidh

[Her expression hardly changes at all.]

What good does that do our shattered family?

[A small frown furrows across her forehead, reaching to tuck some curls behind her ear.]

I don't know, but wouldn't talkin' to him help?

He kept so much from me...

[Probably to spare her pain, but things she should have known to keep him safe. Things she could have changed.]

I am not ready to talk to him.

I'm not rushin' you to. You'll have plenty of time to think it over.

[They had no idea when the war was going to end after all. She squeezed Grainne's hand.]

We can switch topics if you want.

It is all right. But...

[Grainne lowers her head slightly at the comforting squeeze.]

I have begun to question everything I ever believed true. And how will I tell him I am about to betray him?

I think he's the type of person who will forgive you, no matter what happens.

[Merida reaches to tilt her chin up with her free hand. If what Rin told her about Diarmuid's world was true, then it was possible he already knew the outcome of his tale from his wife's point of view. She doesn't say his name, mostly to save Grainne from wincing like she did earlier.]

You didn't give into Fionn to start with. You don't have to worry.

But I am not the type to forgive so easily! [Her expression darkens, and the first hint of true anger comes through.] I tried! And I could say nothing, nothing when he went because it was his responsibility and his right and he chose it over his family! Just as he has b-been choosing... this... war over- over us.

[She freezes then, her fists curled into balls at her sides, and bursts into tears.]

[Merida's arms reached out, wrapping Grainne into a hug and tucking her chin over her head the minute she started crying. It was an automatic reaction, one that she found herself pursing her lips together for before biting her bottom one and closing her eyes. She had a feeling anything she was going to say in defence of Diarmuid would be shot down by Grainne, so she just held her, sitting there.]

[Perhaps once Grainne calms down and stops feeling the effects of so many memories rushing back to clarity, she might regret her words. But they came from a well deep part of her soul, one she hadn't wanted to admit existed before. She should know better. She was (or is?) a knight's wife. She should accept it as part of the life he led.

She has made plenty of mistakes, and in her own mind she is at fault for his death, for her actions in the beginning and lack of them at the end.]

M... Merida...

It's hard isn't it? All th' memories? Conflictin' around in there?

[Her voice comes out in a murmur, pressing her cheek to Grainne's as she rubbed at her back. It had been easier for her since she hadn't gone through anything like what Grainne had, but it still hurt, still made her cringe every time she thought back on the last two years. She'd hold onto her as long as she wanted, letting her exhaustion leave her as Merida sighed, shoulders relaxing.]

It was supposed to be better...

[It is pure misery coming out of her rather than a voice, and she starts to shake with the emotions. Trying not to faint's been easier since it happened, but still takes effort, and the only thing she holds back. The comfort she greedily accepts, not having had that comfort even back home.]

Sometimes...things don't always turn out th' way we plan.

[It's as much of an admission as it is a statement. Grainne already knows she tried to change her mother's mind about her betrothal and instead got her turned into a bear, so she doesn't repeat it. It feels like she's comforted a lot of people in the last couple of days, so it comes easily to her as Grainne soaks up the comfort like a sponge. When she starts to shake, Merida tightens her grip.]

But we learn from those mistakes. We get up an' try again tomorrow.

[Grainne pulls back slightly, trying to see Merida through her tears.]

How can I possibly try again when there is nothing left?

[She reaches up with both hands, gently wiping her tears away with her thumbs.]

There's always somethin' left. [Merida hums a little, a soft smile curling.] You just can't see what it is yet.

A long life and an empty home... that is all there is waiting for me back home, if Fionn were not chasing after me yet again.

Then don't think about that somethin' left as bein' back home. [Merida took Grainne's hands in hers.] What about here? What do you have to try for here?

I still have my shard...

[That's not good... does she already consider Diarmuid out of her reach here, too?

She looks down at her chest, where the shard sits.]

I was learning magic.

[Merida smiles just for a moment before she shuts her eyes. A minute or so later, a small, green glow pulses beneath her breast and then it fades, considering she didn't want to hold it for too long in case she felt weak. She wanted to tell Grainne that Diarmuid had taught her before she stops herself short, not wanting to upset her.]

We can do those things together. I was learnin' magic from Lady Rin.

But I have no reason to learn, except for my own amusement. If I were home I might have tried to learn necromancy to correct my mistakes... but I do not know if it would have been worth learning that sort of magic.

[She rubs at her eyes then, giving a shuddering sigh.]

I think I will always feel incomplete...

Grainne...

[She wants to say something but can't. Merida bites her bottom lip, holding herself back from saying anything in regards to Diarmuid and instead just squeezes Grainne's hands again, tighter. It's at that point that one of the puppies comes back into the room, one paw coming up to push the door back a little more and nose his way in. The puppy sniffs around them, then at Grainne. As though sensing her sadness, he raises a paw and touches her leg, a small whine coming from the back of his throat.]

Do not worry yourself, Merida... [Grainne's response is automatic, almost as if she's practiced it a million times before to prompt others not to go out of their way to help.

The pup draws her attention though, and she looks down at him, which makes her tear up again. Dogs were Diarmuid's companions...]

Mac an Chuill...

Of course I'll worry myself.

[Why would Grainne think she'd do anything but? Her brow furrowed into a small frown before she glances down at the pup, then back at Grainne. With a small sigh, she bends down to scoop the puppy up into her arms, even as it tries to squirm it's way out and towards the other woman.]

Sorry. Cu left them with me. [A small smile crosses her face.] Idiot's too afraid to raise pups so I said I'd raise them an' he can take over when they're grown.

[Quickly shaking her head, she tries to hide the evidence of tears that time.]

Do not let him get away with that. A man should have equal raising of... of his dogs.

[There's a pause as the puppy cranes his head to lick at her cheek, Merida hefting him in her arms.]

I offered. [She raises an eyebrow.] They're not kids, Grainne.

To some they may as well be.

[Turning, she goes to sit back on the bed, resting her hands in her lap.]

Merida, would it... would it be all right if I had some time alone?

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